Not So Perfect Mom


I know we all scroll social media and see motherhood depicted so perfectly, well I am going to be raw and honest with you today.

Before becoming a mom I had this image of myself and the Mom I would be to my own kids someday. I was that chick that used to say I would never do that when I have kids, my child wouldn't behave that way, or I won't be that kind of Mom. Anyone else guilty of those thoughts? Then years later here I am handing my toddler a phone just like those mothers I used to judge to keep him occupied while we were in public. Not part of the pretty picture I painted in my mind.

Being a Mom is the greatest, most challenging,  meaningful, yet rewarding job I've had in in my life. Caring for my children has made me understand love that has no bounds. There is nothing that I wouldn't do or sacrifice for my boys to be happy, healthy, and safe.

While motherhood is amazing, it's not always easy. It comes with so much more emotion than I ever imagined or was prepared for. Although I wouldn't trade it for the world, I understand that as the children grow and change it's bittersweet. It's hard to say goodbye to the stages in life they outgrow, but also exciting to see what's new that God has in store for them.

Whether it was dealing with the sleepless nights after they were born, the terrible 2s, trying 3s, tumultuous teenage years, or transitioning to adulthood there were definitely moments where I could have been better and done better. With every stage we shed the old problems and stresses of that period and are handed a whole set of new ones.  Somedays especially with life's circumstances it can be tough... lack of sleep, a tough day at work, a stubborn child that just won't listen...Let's be honest, sometimes the list is endless. Sometimes its hard to stand on the sidelines watching your beloved make choices especially when every alarm is going off inside you screaming "NO that is the wrong one!"

I will be the first to admit I am not a perfect Mom. I myself have not been able to live up to the expectations I set for myself before children. I've lashed out in frustration at my kids, been embarrassed by a public tantrum, been a little too harsh with my words, etc. Yes...I know terrible. I've gone to bed many nights feeling guilty and defeated. I've cried in my own disappointment and sobbed in frustration for my actions, but in those moments the one thing I know is that I am learning from my mistakes. We are often told by society that kids don't come with instruction manuals, but in fact they do... the bible. I am learning as a parent that I can always do right for myself and for my children by simply praying not only in those difficult moments, but every day through everything.

My entire reason for sharing is because there is a mom out there that is feeling the exact same way. If that is you...guess what? I am here to tell you we all have off moments or days, but you aren't alone. We won't ever be perfect, but our kids don't love us any less because of it. You are a beautiful, caring and loving mother.
Mama, it's going to be ok!

Here are some of my favorite resources that I 
re-read often:

No comments